Higher Sights
by CharlieBravo
Summary: Gillian learns of Cal's feelings for her but not in the way he would have wanted. What ensues is classic Callian back and forth... Rated M for safety. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The cube was glazed over. Inside sat a leggy Latina with long, dark hair. Immaculately dressed and wearing an expression that would make any man break into a cold sweat. But not Cal. He surveyed her with a blank look, not saying anything. 

Outside Loker, Torres and Foster stared at the monitor.

"What's he waiting for?" Torres asked impatiently shifting her weight where she stood behind Loker.

"Shhh…" Gillian waved her to silence as on the monitor, Cal stood up.

"He's going in for it now," Loker said as he watched intently. 

"Well now this was a bloody waste of time then, wasn't it?" Cal asked to no-one in particular. Leggy Latina gave him a million dollar smirk.

"And that right there," he said as he rounded on her, pointing to her face. "That right there cost you a fortune, didn't it?"

"Excuse me?" she responded, affronted.

"No, no, I don't mean you've had any work done. No, I can see your mother in that face of yours." Her look of scorn immediately softened as Cal continued.

"No, what I meant was – you get everything you want, don't you?" Again that sultry smile snuck onto her perfect face.

"And I mean everything. You're an attractive woman. Stop me if I'm wrong but your looks got you out of high school straight into an illustrious modeling career, the face of whatever shampoo makes your hair do that thing it does and of course, the doozie, married to one of the most affluent bachelors this side of the equator."

"I didn't kill my husband," she responded evenly.

"Yeah I know. But not because you seduced me into thinking that way. I know because you're simply not smart enough."

A frown furrowed her perfect brow for a micro second – not unseen by Cal – and then she resumed her composure.

"Oh, shall I explain?" He didn't wait for a response.

"See, pretty girls like you, they live their whole lives on a fluffy little cloud where people serve up to you because, of course, you're gorgeous, and they want to make the gorgeous chica happy. In the end, you're so used to using your looks, you forget about that thing inside that pretty little head of yours. And if you're finding it hard to follow, I'm talking about your brain, love."

He got a blatant eye roll from her and smiled.

"Yeah, because if you had been smart, you wouldn't have been so quick to trust your husband's attorney with your money."

She straightened in her seat.

"If you were smart you would've spent less time looking in the mirror and more time in those quarterly financials where your dearly beloved was instructing his right hand man to siphon your funds into an offshore bank account. So to speak."

"What does this have to do with the case?" she asked, exasperated.

"What would've been an admissible motive is now null. You only found out about it this morning, right?" She didn't respond but her face gave him what he wanted.

"Yeah, not too bright." Cal made his way to the door. He turned, one hand on the doorknob, "And that," he motioned to her face, "that's not going to last for much longer. You might want to get some reading going on. Exercise those dusty neurons." And with that, he strode from the cube. 

"Was that really necessary?" asked a bemused Gillian. She was only too aware of Cal's weakness for beautiful women and his blatant steamrolling of the leggy Latina satisfied her. Although she would never admit that to him.

"Tart was starting to irritate me," he snipped. "Torres, could you finish up with her?"

Ria nodded and made her way into the cube where the shampoo model still sat. 

Loker stood up to face Cal. "She's Mexican, you know."

"Is this the start of yet another one of your pointless musings? Because I'll take this time to swiftly leave the room," Cal chided.

"Don't you have a thing for Mexican women?" Loker persisted. "I've seen you do this a hundred times and it always ends in drinks or dinner. Never in you walking out on her."

Gillian watched Cal's face intently, not sure what she was looking for but certain about what she did not want to see.

"Yeah well I've set my sights a lot higher," Cal replied matter-of-factly.

"You get higher than that?" Gillian asked, a slight head-nod toward the cube.

Cal gave her a quick once over, licked his lips and said, "Look in the mirror lately?"

He strode from the room, not waiting for a response and leaving a stunned Gillian in his wake.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Gillian walked into to the lab to find Loker going through interview tapes from that morning. Walking right up to him, she didn't say anything until he turned his attention from the monitor. "Yes?"

"I saw you talking to Christian after the interview this morning," she talked fast and sounded agitated. Loker's expression was that of incomprehension. "Mr. Rourke," she realized she needed to clarify, "from Rourke Wilkes, the law firm."

"Oh right. Yeah I spoke to him. Is there a problem?"

"You tell me," Gillian glared at him, tight-lipped with one hand on her hip. Loker was thrown by her demeanor and seemed genuinely in the dark about what she was implying. "What did you talk to him about?" she asked.

"What?" Loker now stood up to kick the naughty school boy feeling she was giving him by towering over his chair.

"Don't do that," Gillian went on. "Did you say anything to him about me and Cal?"

A mischievous smile played on his lips, "What about you two? What did he say?"

"Loker," her tone became more stern. Loker raised his hands in an I surrender fashion and stepped back.

"Look, I don't know what you're on about. He was asking questions about the process we follow after the interviews are done. It was all business. Science. That's it. No you. No Cal. And definitely no you and Cal. Whatever that may mean. Or not mean," he rambled nervously. 

Gillian's posture relaxed visibly and a semblance of embarrassment crept across her face. She wasn't thinking clearly when going to confront Loker and now that she had him cornered like a scared little puppy, she felt bad. "We were at college together," she felt the need to explain. "Christian and I."

Loker's eyebrows shot up and that Loker smile stretched across his face. "Right, I get it, so what's with the whole Glen-Close-Damages-What-Did-You-Say-To-Him scene?"

Gillian exhaled audibly and shook her head as if to rid herself of the memory of what just happened.

"He just sent me a text message," Loker nodded for her to go on when her pause became unbearable. "He told me it was great seeing me again and that I should give him a call when I get tired of being Mrs. Cal Lightman. I didn't know where he could've gotten the idea that Cal and I were - " she was interrupted by Loker trying to stifle a laugh. She looked at him questioningly. "What? What is that?"

Loker laughed out right now, enjoying how awkward she had become. "You honestly have to ask? Foster, you don't have to be an expert in body language or any language to pick up on it."

"Okay, pick up on what? Because I am an expert and I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You and Lightman in the same room. He owns you. And you like it," he smirked.

"What?" it came out high pitched and obvious that she was trying to play it cool. She struggled to wrap her head around what Loker was saying. Cal owned her. And she enjoyed it. She didn't know what was making her breath catch and her heart race, the fact that he was so close to a very sheltered part of what she felt or that what she fought so hopelessly to ignore between herself and Cal was blatant to him and, it now turned out, others too.

"Please, his body language, choice of words, tone of voice when speaking to or about you, his immediate suspicion of any guy who even hints at being interested in you – he's done everything but pee on you," Loker ended. He was getting a kick out of watching Gillian squirm and thought of Ria's face when he relayed this conversation to her later.

Gillian froze and repeated softly, "Pee on me?" She was dreading what was going to fall out of Loker's mouth next. The man was a walking Foot-In-Mouth advertisement.

"Yeah, you know, like dogs. Marking territory. They –" she raised her hand and the end of his sentence caught in his throat.

"Okay, that's, that's enough. I'm just – " she inhaled deeply and turned to leave, "- gonna go."

"What?" Loker asked innocently. "Everybody knows. It's so obvious," he called to her back as she left the lab. Gillian had every intention of going back to her office. Her feet, however, carried her to a different one altogether.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Thanks to everyone for the great reviews! Please keep them coming. _

Chapter 3

Gillian sat at Cal's desk. In his chair. She had walked into his office more than an hour ago to find it empty. She was ready to confront him but now was not so sure. Her relationship with Cal was delicate. Gillian knew him well. Understood that he couldn't be pushed. And as much as she wanted to resolve the Does he/Doesn't he dilemma, she decided to play the waiting game. It was the safe decision – or the cowardly one – depending on how you looked at it. But too much hung in the balance.

Gillian lowered her cellphone from her ear. She had decided to clear things up with Christian. Whether it was the right thing to do would be seen as soon as she spoke to Cal. And as if the universe had heard her thoughts, the man himself sauntered into his office. She didn't see him immediately because her gaze was fixed on a nick in the wood next to her phone. A gaze that hadn't stopped there but had, instead, travelled to a myriad of worlds in which each possible scenario of her relationship with Cal was playing out.

"Allo, Love," he started, bringing her out of her daze. Gillian looked up at him and a smile softened her thoughtful expression. Cal returned the gesture as he made his way around the desk, leaning against it right next to her. She swung out on his chair to angle herself better and her leg lightly brushed against his. The act was consciously ignored by both parties while beneath the masks, white heat rose up in both of them.

"You okay?" she asked, giving him the once over.

"Peachy." He was looking at her like it was the first time he'd ever seen her. She worked hard not to react to the tangible electricity between them.

"Where were you?"

"Late lunch with Em. She says hi."

Silence pulled its cloak over the two friends but it wasn't awkward. Just quiet. And then

"I'm having dinner with Christian," Gillian said, trying not to look at him but not winning at her own game. Cal's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he struggled with how to respond. "Just catching up," she continued, in an attempt to draw him out.

"Doesn't that qualify as a conflict of interest type thing?" Cal eventually found words while reverting to his distanced self. It wasn't easy but he didn't want to feel too much. He wasn't ready.

"I'm not involved with the case anymore so…"

"Says who?" he interjected.

"Me," Gillian smiled but her eyes didn't wrinkle. Cal noticed. "You'll do fine with Loker and Torres." Cal nodded slowly as he considered the situation.

Could he have been wrong in his assumption that Gillian would still be around when he was finally ready? He had a plan, he was working on being the kind of man that she deserved. A man that wouldn't let her down, hurt her. Had she noticed? Did she think about the fact that he hadn't been dating for the past few months? Not even one-night-stand-ing. Especially not that. He was keeping his temper in check. And his affinity for bumping into trouble at the most inappropriate times? Well, he'd been keeping that to a minimum. He had a plan. But was it the right thing to do? Or was he just wasting time?

"Must be some guy to take you away from your work," he finally said.

"Cal," Gillian warned. He raised his hands as a sign of backing off and she stood up. The action brought them within inches of each other. Cal made no effort to move. He could smell her honey almond shampoo and fought to maintain his nonchalant air. Their eyes locked.

"Funny thing," Gillian decided to work it in slowly. Like it was no big deal.

"What is?"

"He, Christian, was under the impression that you and I –" her tone was light and conversational but even so, she couldn't finish the sentence. Cal wore a self-satisfied smirk.

"He tell you that?"

"Yes, he did," she could see he was enjoying this little revelation. "And according to a trusted source," she'd slip it in there, "… apparently," give him an opportunity, see how he reacted, "… everyone we work with is of the same opinion."

"That you and I –" Cal said.

"That you and I –" Gillian nodded, watching his face.

Cal let out a light chuckle. "Your source, is he on crack?"

"Well, apparently your territorial behavior leads people to assume – "

"Oh yeah?" Cal stepped in closer to her, their bodies brushing together so lightly they almost didn't.

"Apparently," Gillian lowered her voice in an effort not to give anything away. She tried hard not to react to Cal's breath on her lips.

"Apparently," he urged her to continue.

"Cal," it was barely a whisper.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?" It was not what she wanted to say but she realized she wanted to know his response. They stood like that, looking into each others eyes, searching, barely breathing and Cal couldn't. He wasn't ready.

He stepped back and gathered himself. Gillian was sorry once the tension broke but relieved at the same time. She wasn't sure how much longer she could stand that close to him and not do anything about it.

"Cal?" she asked softly.

"I don't know, Love. I don't know." His voice was raw with emotion that he could no longer hide. He wasn't looking at her anymore. Instead, his carpet became the most interesting thing in the office.

"Okay, that's okay," she rested her hand on his shoulder and it made him look up. As soon as he did though, she let her hand fall to her side again.

"There's a plan," Cal started. And stopped.

"Oh?" she waited for him to elaborate but he didn't. "Does it have anything to do with me?"

"I just need time," his gaze had dropped to the really interesting carpet again and Gillian decided that that had been enough pushing for now.

"Okay. Take all the time you need," she said and she meant it. She would wait.

Cal listened to her heels as she made her way out of the office. The biggest battle you have to fight is against yourself, he thought. He turned to watch her go.

"You know," he finally said just as she reached the door. Gillian turned to face him. "He's not good enough for you."

A sad smile crossed her face and this time, Cal noticed, it was real.

"Is anyone, Cal?" She asked the question, knowing full well what his answer would be.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Mucho thanks again to all who reviewed. This has turned into a long and winding road for Cal and Gillian and seeing as how I already have the climax written out, it's killing me having to take this one step at a time! I wish I could just blurt out how it all ends! But hopefully, you'll feel as I do and understand that it's definitely worth the wait:)_

__

_

* * *

_

Chapter 4

It was after 7pm and Cal and Gillian were in her office, seated comfortably on her couch albeit at opposite ends. A week had come and gone and Cal had kept his interaction with Gillian to a minimum. Conversations were superficial and in passing, after-hours interactions were non-existent. Tonight, however, was an exception to the new rule. Cal had heard about her lunches with Emily and seeing as how his daughter wasn't very forthcoming with details surrounding these, he was forced to abandon Project Avoidance and speak to Gillian.

"What I don't understand is, why she didn't just come to me with it," Cal said, not looking at Gillian. He couldn't.

The office was dimly lit and in it, Gillian looked almost ethereal. Her features were soft and thoughtful, her hair fell effortlessly perfectly over her shoulder and her eyes – well, that's why he couldn't look at her. They would've swallowed him whole.

"Because you're a bully," Gillian challenged.

"Bully?"

"Yes, you would've bullied her into going with a college she didn't really want to on grounds that you know better or-"

Cal's incredulous expression did little to slow her down.

"Or that you're her dad and she should do as you say or your favorite one: that you're a scientist and that anything you decree should be heeded for the good of mankind," she ended with an exaggerated Queen's English accent, enjoying Cal's reaction to her teasing.

"First of all," he was looking at her now, a little more relaxed because she was smiling at him – really smiling at him – for the first time in days, "- that's not what I sound like." Gillian laughed. The color in her cheeks rose and almost glowed, her eyes shone. Cal fought to not get lost in them and continued.

"Secondly, I am her father and I do know better."

"Of course you do," Gillian teased.

"And last but not least, if anyone is being bullied in our relationship, it's me."

"Poor thing," she faked sympathy but it was difficult to keep a smile from playing on her lips.

This was good. The easy conversation. Talking and laughing like old times, Cal thought. Like he had never fallen in love with her and wasn't afraid to confess those feelings. That last thought weighed his heart down just a bit and Gillian noticed as sadness flashed across his face. She knew there was something. She could feel it between them every time they were together. But she had resolved to give him space, time to deal with whatever he needed to. So she never questioned him about it. He watched her watching him and regained composure.

"So are you going to tell me what you two have been canoodling about behind my back then?"

Back to the game, she thought, masks on.

"Well, I think she'd be a perfect fit for Columbia."

"Columbia? Arrggh," Cal slumped forward with his head in his hands, emphatically illustrating his disagreement.

"But we're looking at Brown and Harvard too."

He sat up then, sighed heavily, "You don't mind running through this with her?"

"Of course not, I'm enjoying it." Cal nodded and his appreciation showed clearly on his face. He loved that Gillian loved Emily. He loved Gillian, period.

"It brings back a lot of memories of when I was choosing a school. Straight out of high school, excited about life," her tone suddenly and unexpectedly became melancholy and she drifted off.

"So does she have any meetings set up yet?" Cal brought her back.

"Oh, I know the deans at Columbia and Brown so I'll help her set up some time with them and I'm sure Zoe could help her with Harvard."

"Zoe, arrggh," Cal slumped forward again with his head in his hands and Gillian laughed. He sat up with a satisfied smirk on his face. He loved making her laugh.

"Anyway, we have more than enough time so there's no rush," she said. Her cellphone started ringing over on her desk and she got up.

"More than enough time? First semester starts in a few months," Cal argued. Gillian looked at her caller ID and frowned slightly.

"She's taking a year off to travel so…" she responded as she answered her phone, cutting off what would have been an indignant response from Cal. Instead, he sat looking at her open-mouthed.

"Hi," Gillian turned her back to him and was trying to whisper. Cal knew it must have been Christian on the line. They had seen each other three times since that first dinner and Cal didn't like how he was imposing himself on Gillian's life – visiting her at work, cooking for her at home – what he didn't like even more was that she was letting him.

"Okay, that's weird." Gillian turned to face him now and she shook her head. "I'll call security and straighten things out."

Cal knew what that was about but feigned innocence nonetheless.

"Sure, I'll call them. Okay, bye." She stood looking at Cal, hands on her hips, waiting for him to say something. He didn't.

"That was Christian" she said as she walked around to sit at her desk. A mischievous smile played on Cal's lips.

"Security won't let him up. They say a request was put in two days ago to have him banned from the building?" she watched as Cal now started to chuckle and shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you did that!" Gillian picked up her phone and dialed security.

"What?" he said innocently, "The guys a right plonker and gets on my nerves."

Gillian rolled her eyes but Cal knew she saw the humor in it too.

"Hi, this is Doctor Foster from The Lightman Group," Gillian said into the phone.

Cal watched her lips. He loved how she said her name with integrity and just a little bit of ego that she would never admit to, but was there.

"You have a Mr. Christian Rourke with you. Yes, there seems to have been a misunderstanding," she glared at Cal as silent chuckles shook his shoulders while he watched her from the couch. "No, Mr. Rourke has not been banned from the building."

Cal mouthed the word 'no' and shook his dramatically.

"Yes, you can let him up," Gillian finished, ignoring Cal's silent protests. "Thank you." She replaced the phone and looked up at Cal, he was wearing that naughty little of grin of his and she couldn't help smiling.

"You need a new hobby. Clearly you have too much time on your hands."  
"I think I'll stick to this one, thanks. Much more entertaining than anything else I can think of."

"Don't you ever get tired of this? Antagonizing me and every man who happens to be interested in me?"

"Never!" He stretched out on the couch, feet up, much to Gillian's chagrin. Christian was on his way up and she didn't want him to find Cal splayed on her couch like that. The two boys didn't play well together and it was her hope that she could get rid of him before Christian got there.

"Be honest, woman, you like it when I get a little jealous," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Don't you mean over-protective?" Gillian asked.

Cal shook his head and sat up straight again, looking her dead in the eye, his voice low, "No, that's not what I meant."

Cal had never admitted to jealousy before. And the presence of that emotion implied the presence of another, stronger emotion. Which, as it now stood, Cal hadn't admitted to either. Her mind was going a mile a minute as she was trying to keep her thoughts from showing on her face.

"Hi Hon," Christian said as he walked in, looking dashing in a charcoal suit.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: In this chapter I decided to explore what would happen in a Cal/Gillian/Christian scenario. Thanks to beingKitKat for the idea. It took great pains to get to the point of publishing this and you'll see why. The story took on a life of its own and before I knew it, Chapters 5 thru 7 had written themselves! Bare with me, it's going some place good, I promise._

_

* * *

_

Chapter 5

Christian was handsome but the problem was he knew it. Gillian startled at his sudden appearance and rose from her desk. He didn't take his eyes off her as she approached him and Cal didn't take his eyes off him. The way he looked at her, like she belonged to him, it did something to Cal – awakened some sort of animal instinct much akin to lions fighting for dominance over the lionesses in their pride.

There was a kiss on her cheek. That was good so far, Cal thought. Christian's hand wrapped around Gillian's waist and he pulled her into him. Okay, now that was not good, Cal thought as he got to his feet and forced Christian to acknowledge his presence which he had, up till then, ignored.

"Doctor Lightman," Christian said with a forced civil head nod.

"Attorney Rourke," Cal threw back. He stood with his hands in his pockets and head cocked to the side in a typical show of reading him.

Gillian stood nervously by, feeling the tension mount between the two. She needed to get Christian out of there before too much was said. Unfortunately, with Cal in the room –

"So, you two lovebirds off to the circus then?" her partner asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

Christian's brows furrowed in confusion, "No, actually I pulled a few strings," he looked at Gillian, pulling her closer. Cal bit his lower lip. " – and got us reservations at Lola."

"Ooh, fancy. You must know people in high places."

Christian gave a pompous shrug of his shoulders as he lapped up Gillian's ego-stroking.

"Oh, Lola. Fancy," Cal repeated mockingly. Gillian gave him a warning scowl but he ignored it. "See I saw your tie, Christian, and it just screamed circus. That's why I thought, you know…"

"Cal," Gillian interjected in an attempt to extinguish whatever had been ignited but she was too late.

"My mother made this tie for me. She passed away last spring," Christian replied stiffly.

He had taken his arm from Gillian and was now facing Cal squarely, his jaw strained with the effort to keep his composure. He knew about Cal, Gillian had told him about the risks of dating her – his protectiveness, his tendency to antagonize. But Christian was ready for it and he was not going to let Cal win.

"Sorry to hear that," Cal said earnestly.

Gillian felt an opportunity to smooth things over and took it. "Christian's mother was a wonderful seamstress." He smiled down at her and drew her to his side once more.

"In the circus?" Cal couldn't help himself.

"Cal!"

"This is ridiculous," Christian said, the anger rising to his face. He stepped away from Gillian and closer to Cal, over whom he towered by at least a foot.

"I know," Cal said as he mirrored Christian's movement and stepped closer to him, not backing down. "But you're the one wearing it." He was getting way too good a reaction from Christian to just drop it. The guy was so easy.

"Okay, that's enough," Gillian forced herself between the two men.

"Gillian, are you hearing this?"

"Oh, she's loving it. Look at her face," Cal stood on his toes to see over Gillian's head as he spoke.

"That's not –" She looked at Christian who was now studying her, "- don't listen to him."

Gillian placed both her hands on Cal's chest. "Enough." She spoke to him with more than just her tone of voice and Cal conceded. He smiled and backed off. She then turned to Christian who was still seething.

"Let's go, okay? Let's go eat." Taking her jacket, she started for the door. Christian, however, remained in place as he glowered at Cal.

"You know, you stand there and you make your jokes," Gillian turned when she realized he had not followed her. She stood at the door, looking on helplessly. "-but nobody's laughing," Christian spat at him.

Gillian walked up to him and took him by the arm. "Christian, just leave it alone."

"No," he didn't take his eyes from Cal as he brushed Gillian aside with a twitch of the arm. The man had a point to make and he wasn't going to leave until it was made. Amazingly, Cal let him. "What, you think that if you carry on long enough I'll get tired of it and move on?"

Cal's eyes flashed something that neither Gillian nor Christian caught. He had hit the nail on the head with that one.

"You think that's enough for me to walk away from this?" he waited for Cal to say something but he remained still. Gillian's gaze flitted from Christian to Cal and back as she anxiously watched the scene unfold, unable to stop it.

"I'm the one taking her to dinner tonight; I'm the one holding her hand-" Cal winced as Christian's words cut through him.

"Christian, stop," the plea from Gillian was barely a whisper but its sincerity was unmistakable. Her eyes were on Cal now. Just Cal. Her heart broke as she watched what Christian's words were doing to him.

"I'm the one brushing her hair from her face before I kiss her," the man was relentless.

This time Cal looked down, his jaw clenched. He couldn't keep the eye contact any longer. Christian was right and Cal couldn't pretend that he was the smart one, the one with the upper hand anymore.

"Stupid tie and all, I'm the one she's going home with. And you? You have your empty house,"

"Please," Gillian tried again, tugging at his arm. He ignored her.

"-and your jokes. But no-one's laughing. Because no-one's there." He ended. Finally. Cal still didn't look up. Gillian made to go over to him but felt Christian's hand on her arm as he pulled her in the opposite direction.

"Now we can go," he said as he guided her out of the office, leaving a dejected Cal still staring at the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Okay, I was going to wait a bit before uploading this but I couldn't bare the thought of leaving the story hanging where it was. The end of Chapter 5 really makes my stomach turn. So here you go! _

* * *

Chapter 6

The Lightman household was uncharacteristically somber as Emily sat at the kitchen table, watching her father down his third glass of however many hundreds of years old scotch. Cal had come home, cooked dinner and eaten all in complete, utter, painful silence. Now he was diving into his scotch and Emily knew that what was wrong was not something he would talk about. Not when he was like that. So she did what she could and she sat with him, waiting. For what, she wasn't sure but she was worried and didn't want to leave him alone.

He looked at her for the first time that evening. "You're not taking a year off after school."

His sudden animation had made what he said that much more shocking and Emily sat up straight.

"What? How do you-" she started.

"You will find a school to go to that is not too far from home and you will go there without taking any time off," Cal repeated, his voice was wrought with emotion that had nothing to do with Emily or school.

"Did Gillian tell you?" she asked. Her response was her father looking at her in a way that told her it was not up for discussion. "Dad, this is really important to me." Cal poured himself another drink but still didn't say anything. "Did she tell you that she took a year off too? It's not what you think it is. Even Mom said it would be good for me."

"Oh so you're taking advice from your mum now? When it suits your agenda. Convenient."

Emily gave a heavy sigh as she watched her father. This was a conversation that was inevitable but somehow she felt they weren't talking about her.

"What happened today, Dad?" She asked softly, afraid that her inquiry might send him back into his shell but risking it nonetheless.

Cal was quiet a long time, staring at his glass as he swirled his drink around.

What did happen today? he thought. One minute all was right with the world as he and Gillian had found their rhythm for the first time in more than a week and the next – well, the next was a reality check so forceful it knocked him to the floor. Cal had not expected Christian to be the type to fight back. He was not prepared for the attack, especially not the honesty of it. And therein Cal realized that Christian must care about Gillian, or his retaliation would not have been that personal. He was sending a message for Cal to back off. Clearly the man has plans. And where did that leave him and _his_ plans? Christian was a good few yards ahead of him already, as he so blatantly spelled out earlier that evening. He already had the dinners, the hand-holding, the kissing… All Cal had was a knot in his stomach and love for a woman that he had no idea how to express.

"Dad?" Emily interrupted Cal's reverie. He looked up as if he had only just noticed her and breathed deeply in an attempt to force the thoughts out of his head with an oxygen overload.

"Today was like any other day," he phrased his words slowly, thoughtfully. "I came in second."

Before Emily could form a response, there was a knock at the door. Cal frowned and slowly got up to answer it.

"He was out of line." The door had barely opened when Gillian spoke. Cal's face revealed his surprise to find her standing in front of him when she was supposed to be holding hands with Christian while kissing him.

"You came all the way from Lola to tell me that?" he tried to sound nonchalant when in fact his heart was pounding.

Gillian swallowed, "I didn't get that far."

"No?"

"I just – You were annoying and infuriating," she was trying hard to keep from becoming too emotional but her eyes showed Cal everything he couldn't hear.

"Why thank you," he teased, trying to make it easier for her.

"But he was out of line. What he said," her eyes found his and a decade's worth of friendship, trust, respect and love passed between them then, "-he was mean and hurtful."

"I sort of asked for it, didn't I?" Cal said softly.

Gillian shook her head "No, it was uncalled for and I told him so. You're my friend and he didn't respect that."

A smile crossed Cal's face. "I'm a complete arse and you still stand up for me?"

"Always." She returned his smile. Cal opened the door further and stepped aside.

"I suppose you're hungry," he said, motioning her in with his hand.

"Starved," Gillian walked up the steps and into the kitchen. Cal snaked his hand around her waist as she passed.

"Hey," he pulled her toward him. "You okay?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

"I am if you are." He smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead before releasing her.

* * *

_There, all better now:)_

_TBC_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: To all the reviewers – a giant thank you! And I ask that you be patient, this is a good one and we will have our Callian! They're on a journey right now, that I can't rush. But believe me, it makes the end that much sweeter:)_

_P.S. I had to clean this one up quite a bit after re-reading the 'guidelines' to make sure I wasn't in breach of anything… me and my dirty mind tsk tsk. _

_

* * *

_

Chapter 7

Her breath was hot and heavy on his face. Cal couldn't get enough. He bore deeper with every kiss, wanting her to take him in completely. The items on his desk became somewhat rearranged as he deftly lifted her by her thighs and pushed her on to it. A deep moan escaped her lips as he used those same thighs to pull her in to him. His heart was pounding so much he could hardly hear anything else, his sweat traced a pattern down his back. Still he went on, running his tongue down her soft neck, exploring her breasts. He felt her hands undo his belt, his pants; her movements were experienced and eager. He kissed her again; harder this time. Years of pent up tension, passion and lust poured out of him and she drank it up. Savored him as if it were the last time they would be together like that.

She tightened her grip on his waist with her thighs and arched her back so her pelvis pressed closer to his. This time it was Cal who moaned. She was driving him crazy. Everything about her – the way she smelled; the way she felt; oh god, the way she tasted. He could feel her trembling under his touch and knew that she felt the same way. Her black pencil skirt was all the way up to her waist now, revealing red lace undies that Cal regarded with disdain. On any other day he would have found them sexy but today they were nothing but a barrier to his goal. He laced his fingers between the barrier and her skin and felt her freeze up. Their eyes locked, millimeters from one another. He licked his lips.

And then hers.

He felt her slowly start to respond to his touch, finding his rhythm with ease. Her rocking hips took on an urgency that beckoned to Cal. She was ready and he knew this was the moment - what the past ten years had been building up to. He withdrew his hand and a disappointed moan came from deep in her throat. She came around though when she opened her eyes to find him removing her underwear. Cal lifted her legs, the sexy black Louboutins she was wearing rested on either side of his head. Once her underwear had been discarded, he lowered them again, cradling her legs at the knees with each hand. He moved in closer.

Then stopped.

Not to tease but to look at her. Take her in. She was by far the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and no love that he held for any other person could come close to what he felt for her. Even more so in that moment. Cal kissed her, sweetly this time and her response was warm and inviting.

He lowered his mouth to her ear and whispered, "I love you, Gillian." He heard her breath catch for a second before she responded, "I –"

Cal's eyes flew open as his ringing cellphone broke through the haze. It took him a while to orientate himself, his head was all muffled and he was sweating. The ceiling of his bedroom stared down at him and he felt like he had just taken a quantum leap. The offensive cellphone was still ringing next to his head and he made a grab for it, swearing under his breath. It was Torres. After taking a second to compose himself, he answered, "You have no idea the kind of day you're in for, Torres. You're going to wish you called in sick."

**LTM**LTM** LTM**LTM**LTM**

"What, you're the boss so you can come in at whatever time you like?" Gillian asked as she fell into step alongside Cal. "It's after ten and we have big money in the lab," she persisted when he didn't say anything.

"It's all your fault," he said, playfully nudging her with his elbow.

"My fault you can't handle your liquor?" she smiled, thinking about the evening before when she had gone to Cal to fix the damage Christian had done. They had eaten together and then had a few drinks, both relieved that things between them had gone back to normal. Well, mostly anyway.

Cal, however, was referring to the dream he had been ripped from and not the drinking.

Without breaking his stride, he gave her the once over and said, "Showed a bit more above the knee the last time I saw you in that," before disappearing into his office and closing the door behind him.

Gillian looked down at her black pencil skirt and then at Cal's closed office door, completely befuddled by his statement. It was going to be one of those days, she thought, shaking her head as she made her way to the lab.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The last few hours for Cal had been a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least. After his run in with Christian, he thought he'd have to put up with a few days of the cold shoulder from Gillian because of his behavior but she had surprised him by reaching out to him instead. He wondered if this signaled a turning point. Was that her way of reassuring him? Did she even know that that was what he was looking for? Gillian always had been very intuitive in their relationship and he hoped that he could depend on that going forward. And after his dream that morning, Cal wanted more than ever to get the forward going. The dream. Just thinking about it made his pulse race. It was as if he could still smell her, taste her -

"We need you in the lab, boss." Cal looked up to find Torres at his door.

"I've got a bone to pick with you," he said, remembering her interruption of his climax that morning, albeit in a dream state.

"It was urgent. This case needs to be wrapped up as soon as possible. What should I have done?"

"Wait two minutes," Cal replied.

She rolled her eyes in exasperation, "Well, are you coming?"

I was about to when you called, Cal thought and got up from his desk.

"Out with it then."

"The senator's son-in-law is under investigation for embezzlement claims," she said as they left his office together.

"Guilty," Cal said confidently.

"Yeah, pretty much. They want us to determine whether his wife, the senator's daughter, knew about it."

They reached the lab and Torres punched them in. Cal briefly studied the monitor running a video of what he assumed was the senator's daughter as he walked in.

"She's lying."

"Wait, let me bring up the audio," Loker said from his usual station.

"No need, she's lying" Cal's eyes found Gillian standing in front of the monitor. She surveyed him with a curious look. He noticed her shoes. They weren't the same pair she wore in his dream but they were close enough. It was an eerie case of déja vu.

"How can you tell? You haven't even seen the footage properly," Torres challenged, her arms folded across her chest. She was clearly frustrated by his behavior and wasn't afraid to show it.

"I'm an expert," Cal replied, managing to tear his eyes from Gillian.

"Cal, let's just run it again," she said.

"This is a high profile case. We can't afford to blow it," Loker stood up to get Cal's attention and succeeded.

"Ah, you're up. I'll take a coffee. Black."

Loker looked at Gillian for a sign of what to do and she gave him an almost imperceptible nod. He shook his head as he left the lab, Lightman was being more impossible than usual.

"You," Cal said to Torres as he made himself comfortable on the desk Loker was just at. Torres looked at him, dreading what was going to come out of his mouth next. "Get me the J Smith case file from 2002," he finished with a put-on air of authority. Torres started to protest but the look she got from Cal quickly made her change her mind and she stalked out of the lab.

He turned to Gillian who was looking at him with a grin on her face.

"Alone at last."

"You're unbelievable," she said, shaking her head as she walked over to him. She took a seat next to him and asked, "So how do you know the daughter's lying?"

They were close enough to each other that their shoulders touched when she turned to face him. A charge surged through Cal and he wasn't sure if he wanted to fight it.

"I don't," he said, looking at her. She was still wearing the grin. "Political scandals bore me."

"They're paying us a lot of money to do this," she countered.

"And besides," he wanted to have some fun, "- I'd much rather talk to you about those shoes," Gillian's eyebrows knitted together, "- that skirt; and what you were thinking about when you got dressed this morning," Cal ended with a mischievous smirk on his face.

"What I was thinking?" Gillian repeated.

"If I had to take a wild stab on a desk," he was speaking slowly, his voice low.

"In the dark, you mean. Stab in the dark?"

"I would guess – " he looked into her eyes as she returned his gaze, puzzlement showing openly on her face. Cal appreciated that. It was rarely that Gillian allowed him the privilege of reading her. His pause was long and purposeful. He knew that she was curious and wanted to draw it out a bit longer.

And then, "Red-" As the word left his lips, Gillian's grin faded and her frown deepened. "- lace." Cal's eyes didn't leave Gillian's face. He wanted to savor the instant of her micro second reaction. And it was worth it. She stared at him agape and after a second or two, stood up.

When she spoke, her voice was a terse whisper, "Are you spying on me?"

Cal laughed and shook his head, "Wouldn't dream of it, Love. Well, actually I did dream of it. The lace, not the spying," he ended, noticing the sudden rise of color to her cheeks.

"You're blushing," he said with a satisfied smile. "Didn't know I could make you do that."

"Shut up," she slapped him playfully on the arm. "And this dream," her tone was almost flirtatious. Almost. She did well to keep it in check, Cal thought. "- what was I, you know, doing?"

"Oh I was doing most of the – uh – doing." Gillian's eyebrows shot up and her lips parted slightly and if Cal had been looking at her, he would've noticed her pupils dilate significantly.

Instead, his eyes were on the door to the lab which had just opened. Well not so much on the door but rather the person standing there.

"Hey Lightman," the greeting was curt, almost restrained.

"Aye aye Shazza," he responded.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Sorry for the delayed upload but I haven't had much time to write lately what with the wedding and a *teething 1-year-old! Apologies in advance for a sub-standard piece of writing but my mojo had abandoned me (see *teething 1-year-old) and I was looking to scare it out of hiding. Reviews welcome, as always. _

* * *

Chapter 9

"Oh, I didn't realize-" Gillian opened the door to Cal's office to find him and Wallowski immersed in conversation on his couch. The fact that he increased the distance between them when she entered made her feel a bit better. But not much. She shook her head at Cal in disbelief. They had left the lab over an hour ago when Wallowski asked to speak to Cal about a case. Gillian had retired to the confines of her own office space where she could freely process what had happened between her and Cal before they were interrupted by the wily dick.

His behavior had been strange all morning and now she knew why. The dream. Gillian wondered if it had been the first of its kind or if she had occupied his subconscious before. His eyes when he told her about it, the hunger, she couldn't get the image out of her head. It was that image that had eventually driven her to him just then. She wasn't sure what she would say when she got there but Gillian felt a need to simply be there. With Cal. Needless to say the smirk on Wallowski's face was not what she expected to see upon walking into his office.

"We should get going," Wallowski said as she stood up.

"We?" Gillian straightened, looking at Cal questioningly.

"I'm going to go talk to the Hewes girl," he replied, shrugging his jacket on.

"We can't hold her for much longer," Wallowski continued. "Money talks."

"You would know," Gillian chided, as she stood her ground in the doorway.

"Nice kitty," Cal sensed her agitation.

"He said she's lying."

"Cal agreed that it would be better to talk to her in person."

"He is also in the room and can speak for himself," Cal chirped but for all it mattered he may as well not have been there.

"We get paid to find the truth, Detective, not cover it up," Gillian faced Wallowski squarely and made it clear that she was not about to be pushed around. "A lie is a lie whether it's on tape or in front of your face."

"Who said anything about covering up the truth?"

"When you're involved, corruption is my first assumption."

"Good. Yeah I like that," Cal had their attention for the first time. "Now if you could just both take your clothes off and roll around in some mud. Rough it up a little; call each other dirty names, you know." He made to squeeze past Gillian but stopped when he felt her hand on his.

His reaction was instant – his heart stopped as his stomach did a somersault. The cover-up of his reaction happened a second later. He turned to her. They were both jammed inside the doorway now and although Cal had been that close to her many times before, it had always been on his terms. This was different. Unexpected. He looked at her as her eyes searched his. The room sucked back and they were alone, like they always were when they were anywhere close to each other. There was nothing else for him. He wondered if she knew that.

"I think you got the cases mixed up," Torres said, waving a blue folder at Cal. "This has no relevance to the Hewes case."

The spell had been broken. Cal felt Gillian's hand relax in his. He had felt her grab onto him. But when did he hold her back? Making his fingers let go of hers took more effort than he expected. Hiding the fact that he didn't want to let go was even harder.

He noticed Wallowski, watching him bemused and turned back to Torres.

"You found a case file for J Smith?" Cal asked, genuinely surprised. His intention was to send her on a wild goose chase. "What are the odds?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you can put that back where you found it."

"But I just spent an hour-"

"There's a good girl," he cut her off as he disappeared around the corner. Gillian moved aside as Wallowski ushered gingerly past her and followed him.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" Cal asked, feigning ignorance.

"You and Foster-"

"You jealous?" He gave her a cheeky grin.

"You want me to be?" Wallowski asked, not missing a beat. Cal chuckled as they made their way out the door.

"What is up with him today?" Torres appeared beside Gillian as they both watched Cal and Wallowski leave.

"Just today?" Gillian asked.

She wondered what they could have been doing alone in his office for that long and more importantly, why she even cared. Gillian reprimanded herself for allowing her to get caught up in whatever was going on with Cal. She should have known that anything to do with him would not be smooth sailing. She should have been better prepared instead of so quick to jump at the slightest hint of their relationship moving forward. Grateful that humans didn't walk backwards, or Torres would've been able to see all of that on her face, she quickly headed for the safety of her office.

* * *

_At the risk of repeating of myself, I apologize. Bare with me though... TBC_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Don't tell me what I should think. What you need to do is grow up." Gillian struggled to keep her tone even but she wasn't having much success. Her face felt hot as she felt her temper rising with every excuse uttered from Cal.

It was late - after nine maybe, she couldn't be sure - when he had shown up at her door. Already upset about him running off with Wallowski earlier that day and not returning to the office, Gillian was in no mood to humor whatever antics he was there to display. She was short and direct in her confrontation. She wanted to know what he was up to. It came as no surprise that the answer she got was vague and convoluted.

"You're doing my head in." Cal stood across the living room, sure to keep at least one immovable piece of furniture between himself and Gillian at all times. He could see where the conversation was headed but try as he might, he couldn't diffuse the situation. Instead, everything he said just seemed to make it worse.

"I'm doing _your_ head in?" Gillian's voice went up an octave.

"Oh, we're screaming now are we?" Cal raised his voice to match the attack.

"You're impossible, you know that?" her voice was steadier.

"I did my job. The woman's behind bars." His wasn't. "I don't know what you want from me, Gill."

"If you're confused what does that make me?" This time Gillian did little to remand her grasp on the composure she had left. "One minute you're holding on to me like a piece of property, not wanting anyone to so much as look at me and the next you're running off with that – that –"

"Use your words." His snarky remark did little to abate her anger but Cal couldn't help himself. He was trying to claw his way out of a sticky situation.

He knew he shouldn't have left with Wallowski. And he sure as hell shouldn't have let her talk him into playing truant for the rest of the day. But some of the time, avoiding Gillian was easier. His head quieted down as Gillian's voice started to filter back in.

"And what am I supposed to think? You with your plans and your – your erotic dreams and-" She stopped then, letting her breath escape slowly as her shoulders dropped. He watched her carefully, dreading what would happen next. She was getting awfully close to the one topic he wasn't ready to take up with her.

"Why tell me all of that if – if you had no intention of –" her voice trailed off and the two friends stood, each reflecting the feeling of defeat in the other. Each hating the fact that they stood there as just friends and each as afraid as the other to admit it. The space of a living room separating them but feeling light years apart.

Gillian spoke - calmer; contained, "Why did you come here?" Cal opened his mouth to reply but she didn't let him. "You knew that I would know." She continued off his puzzled expression. "You weren't at the station with her all day, were you?" He didn't answer. Gillian looked as if she would be sick. "Then why," her voice was strained with emotion and the effort she made to keep it from breaking as her eyes filled with tears. "Why did you come here?" Still she went on. Cal was like a statue, afraid to breathe. He wanted her to quit but he knew the dam gates were open now and he would have to take whatever came his way. "To rub my face in it?"

"It's not like that-" was all he could manage before faltering into nothing once again. Why had he gone to see Gillian? He failed to come up with anything besides the simple fact that he wanted to see her.

"Right," she laughed. But it was cold and dead and Cal winced at the sound of it. "I know I'm a fool when it comes to men, but I'm not stupid, Cal." She started closing the space between them but stopped when she saw him taking a step back. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't look away. She was there, not masking the hurt and anger that blazed in her eyes. He had done that. He deserved to feel what he felt.

"For years I stood by and watched you go through one woman after the other and I never said anything. I let you do what you wanted and never judged you or antagonized you for it. But her? You know how I feel about her!" Her voice quivered but Gillian fought it, bit back. The tears didn't fall.

"We need her!" Cal hadn't wanted to take a defensive role but she demanded it of him. He couldn't have her thinking that his relationship with Wallowski was anything more than platonic.

"You know that having someone inside makes things a lot easier for us. Okay, mostly easier for me but still, that's all she is – a contact." He waited and watched. Gillian gave no sign that she was convinced.

"I can't do this," he said, exasperated. "I can't have you thinking every time I'm off with Wallowski that I'm shagging her senseless."

"Oh no, I never cared what you did with her until you made me think that way. Talking about my underwear," the last word was a whisper, the initial self-consciousness of that morning returning in a blush to her cheeks. "And plans and –"

"Here we go with the plans again."

"You started it! I was fine until you made me think-" Gillian stopped herself.

"Carry on," Cal wanted to hear what it was that he made her think. Did she feel about him the way he felt about her? He had an idea of course but couldn't be sure whether she was simply playing his game or that her love for him went deeper than the friendly kind.

When next Gillian spoke, it was like she had returned to the room after stepping out and allowing her less rational, more emotionally vulnerable twin take over her position. The composure was back, as if a switch had been flipped.

"You're the most important person in my life, Cal. I don't dwell on your flaws because that's not who you are to me. You didn't want to talk to me so I gave you space. You said you had a plan. I gave you time. You need to tell me what's going on here because I can't deal with this much longer." She sighed heavily and watched him. His eyes were almost imploring. She knew what he was trying to do.

"Don't do that", she said quietly. "I'm tired of listening to your face. If you have something to say to me, say it."

Cal knew that what would happen next would determine everything. It was fight or flight in its most basic form.

And he flew…

"I have to get home. Em's alone."

"Emily's a big girl."

"Sorry." He meant it. "I have to go." Cal started toward the front door and she let him go. Gillian knew that whatever was going on in that room had come to an end. There was no use in pushing. She turned to find him looking at her from the open front door. Her eyes were drawn to his by an unnamed force.

_I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have said. Forgive me. I need you. I love –_

Gillian closed her eyes to make it stop and when she opened them a second later, he was gone.

* * *

_We're real close now _

_ TBC_


	11. Chapter 11

Eleven

Cal leaned back in his chair and folded his arms as Emily walked in to his office.

"Don't say anything unless it starts with 'I' and ends with 'don't want to take a year off after school'."

His daughter rolled her eyes as she sat down opposite him. She put her bag down so that Cal was forced to sit back up so that he could see her over it.

"So that's it then."

"Yes it is."

"No discussion, no compromise. Just treat me like a child and expect me to be happy with it."

"I don't expect you to be happy with it. I'm not delusional."

"And the fact that Mom's okay with it doesn't make a difference? Are you just going to bulldoze her too?"

"Sweetheart, it's because your mum's okay with it that I'm saying no."

"But-"

"I don't-"

"Dad, can you just-"

"-want to take-"

"-listen to me for once?"

"-a year – it's really simple. Come on, repeat after me. You'll get it after the third try I promise."

Emily pouted in her seat. She knew that once his mind was made up there was no turning back. But her father not being open to even discussing it with her was not like him at all.

"Oh now don't sulk. How old are you?" Cal watched as she pursed her lips and mirrored his folded arms.

"Fine, let's say you take time off to travel the world," his voice carried an exaggerated tone of romanticism. "How are you going to pay for it? With the thousands you have stashed under your bed?"

"This is good," she said eventually, relaxing a little. "This is discussion."

"Answer the bloody question will you?"

"There are work programs in most European countries, Africa and Asia."

"So you're going to work your way across the world?"

"Exactly," her eyes widened hopefully at what seemed like Cal giving in.

"Right, the answer's still no," he said as he got up.

"I can't believe you're being so closed-minded about this!"

Emily followed Cal as he left his office, the two of them walking side by side.

"My mind is more open than you think. Do you know what they do to young girls traveling alone?"

Emily accessorized his words with another eye-roll.

"They kidnap them, get them hooked on drugs and sell them as sex slaves."

A passing Loker stopped in his tracks as he caught the last of Cal's sentence.

"Your paranoia will be the end of you, I swear," Emily said, shaking her head.

"Private conversation," Cal pushed at Loker's shoulder as he fell in step with them.

"Hi Em," Eli spoke past Cal.

"Hey." Her response was short.

"Bye Em," he started on his way again with a wave. "Cube. Five minutes," he called over his shoulder. But his words were lost on Cal whose eyes had found Gillian as she stepped out of her office, her nose buried in a file.

It had been a few days since his royal mess with Wallowski ended in him fleeing her place a coward. To his relief, Gillian had done him a huge favor by not dwelling on what had happened. After a few awkward moments involving superficial conversation or lack thereof, the two had fallen back into their usual rhythm. For the most part anyway. Still, Cal hoped to slink by without her noticing but

"Gillian!" Emily quickly foiled that plan.

Gillian looked up to find Emily about to engulf her in a hug. She looked at Cal over her shoulder and gave him a strained smile. His response was a slight nod of acknowledgment as he dug his hands deep into his pockets.

"I haven't seen you in a while," Emily said as she released her. "How are you?"

"Fine, I'm fine. Been busy," she stole a glance at Cal that did not go unnoticed by his ever-perceptive daughter. "Work, you know."

Then silence. The kind that grates at you like fingernails on a blackboard. Emily's eyes moved from Gillian to Cal and back.

"Cube," he finally spoke and started away from them.

"I'll be there in a minute," Gillian said to his back.

He was trying.

So was she. It was difficult to come back from the other night but Gillian felt it was important that they not get caught up in it. So their interactions were light and never referred to anything that was said in her living room – both waiting patiently for things to return to normal. Whether there was a normal for them to go back to, she couldn't be sure.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Emily's voice sounded a million miles away as it brought Gillian back into the moment.

"Mm? Yeah sure," she stepped back in to her office and Emily followed. "What is it?" She asked as she sat down and ushered Emily to do the same.

"Dad's still giving me a hard time about going away."

"As we both knew he would."

"Now he's using money as an excuse, even after I told him about the work programs I wanted to do." She looked at Gillian desperately. "You have to help me."

"Emily," Gillian shook her head. She couldn't even plead her own case with Cal, how could she do it for someone else?

"Please just talk to him again. He always listens to you."

A pained smile played on Gillian's lips, "I wish that were true but-"

"My mom's skyping him tonight," she cut in.

"I don't think it's wise to bring your mom into this. You know how he gets."

"You should be there too."

No, was the first word that came to Gillian's mind but there were so many others floating around in there that she struggled to vocalize any.

"Come for dinner," Emily contintued pressing, "I think it could work if we deal with him together."

"Emily, your dad won't take kindly to being bullied," she had to get out of this without being too obvious.

"He should get a bit of what he deals out, don't you think? And I don't care how he takes it, I just want him to come around," she persisted.

"Look, it's not my place to-"

"What, you're part of my family for half my life but you don't want the responsibility that comes with it?" The girl sure knew how to lay it on.

"I didn't say that."

"Good. Then you'll come." She wasn't asking. "I'm making meatballs. I'm not worth much in the kitchen but they're relatively edible." Gillian gave a defeated shrug as Emily rose to leave. Turning at the door she added, "You may want to snack before, just in case."

Gillian watched the young woman disappear down the hall and a little string of anxiety started knotting itself in the pit of her stomach. It seemed that for every force pulling her and Cal apart, there were two that worked pretty damn hard to push them together.

* * *

"You're not going in?" Gillian walked up to Cal as he watched the scene unfold in the cube. Loker and Torres were questioning a construction worker about alleged sabotage at a site.

"They can handle it," he said without looking at her.

Gillian silently studied the monitor that showed the vocal stress analysis, forcing herself to focus. She couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Emily and how she got herself into having dinner at the Lightmans that evening. It could go either way – it could be exactly what she and Cal needed to get back into things or it could end up creating further strain on what was already a volatile situation.

"Everything okay?" His voice was low and sincere and it stroked Gillian out of her reverie.

"Emily invited me for dinner."

"Oh no."

"She's making meatballs," Gillian continued with a chuckle, more out of relief that Cal's reaction was dismay for Emily's cooking and not her being there.

"It's times like these I regret never having gotten a dog. Could've secretly fed him under the table - no need to cause offence."

"Cal," she hit his arm playfully, "she's not that bad."

"D'you remember the last time? There was enough salt in those things to season the pacific."

Gillian laughed and Cal drank in the sound of it. It had been a while since he had gotten that right.

"I think we should bring the supervisor in," Loker had appeared as if from nothing. "This guy mostly checks out but there are some inconsistencies we need to rule out."

"Do what you have to," Cal said as Loker went to re-enter the cube.

"I think it's great what you're doing – giving them a chance to head up their own case."

"Ulterior motives – the case is boring but I get my kicks watching those two have at it."

"Still, you're learning to let go."

Cal shook his head slowly as his attention shifted to the cube once more. "Nah, that's not it."

* * *

"Where're you off to in such a hurry? We have another interview."

Cal had been in his office making calls while they waited for the supervisor of the construction crew to arrive. He was on his way back to the cube when he saw Gillian on her way out.

"I have an appointment," she replied without slowing down. "I've canceled once before so I can't miss this."

"Tell him I said hi," Cal called after her.

She stopped then and turned to him. His presumption was not one she wanted to leave him with. Not when things seemed to be back on track.

"It's with my beauty therapist," Gillian corrected him. Cal relaxed visibly as he made his way over to her.

"In that case, tell her I said hi. Then give her my number." He nudged her and she fell in step with him as he walked.

"She's married."

"Her loss. So what are we having then? Mini mani? Pedi?"

"Waxing, actually."

He touched her arm lightly and made her face him while he studied her face.

"Your eyebrows look perfect to me."

"They are," Gillian said and a sneaky smile stole onto her face. Cal looked at her, confused. And then realization slowly dawned.

"You're the devil."

She laughed. "That'll teach you to mind your own business." Her tone was playful and flirtatious, which both surprised and relieved Cal.

"I have to go stand in front of a stranger and pretend I'm not thinking about your-"

"You're a big boy, Cal. I'm sure you can handle a little distraction."

He watched her leave and then shook his head as if the physical action would rid him of the mental images that played there. If only she were a little distraction to him. But Gillian Foster was like a freight train at his back while he tried to build a house of cards. Cal started for the cube and hoped that he could get through the rest of the day without any bathroom breaks.

* * *

_TBC_


	12. Chapter 12

The 12th Chapter

"Should I go in there?"

Emily and Gillian were seated at the kitchen table, plates of her (in)famous meatballs in front of them. In the next room, Cal's voice carried as he argued with Zoe over Skype.

"I think you should give them some privacy."

"Nothing about that conversation is private," Emily cringed as her father's voice grew louder and angrier. "You were right, I shouldn't have cornered him. Especially not with Mom."

Gillian jumped as the sound of something shattering to the floor made its way to them. Emily straightened and looked at her wide-eyed.

"I should go in there."

"No, don't," Gillian held on to her arm as she tried to get up from the table.

Cal's voice dropped to an acceptable register that could no longer be heard. They both froze as they lent their ears to try and figure out what was happening in the next room. All was quiet. Gillian rose suddenly and went to the kitchen cupboard where she got his Scotch. She placed a glass on the counter and poured a double shot.

"That's a big drink."

"It's not for me," she explained and her movement toward Cal was synchronized with his entrance to the kitchen. She held out the glass.

"Trying to placate me with alcohol?" He seemed more disheveled than usual.

"Take the drink," Gillian pushed it toward him until he took the glass from her.

"You were in on this," he said, pointing an accusatory finger at her. She shrunk back. "Can't believe you didn't tell me." He stood between her and Emily, switching his gaze between the two. "You proud of yourselves?"

"Dad, I'm-"

"Do you have any idea," he raised his voice, "how frustrating it is to argue with someone in a five second delay? I don't know what upset me more – the fact that you set your mum on me or that I had to watch my point come across five seconds after I made it!"

"It's late," Gillian tried to create an opportunity to leave and she picked up her handbag. "I should go."

"What?" Emily almost shouted. She did not want to be left to deal with the aftermath of her parents' argument on her own, even if she were the cause of it.

"Thanks again for dinner, Emily, it was great."

"If you like your meatballs medium rare," Cal chirped. "And that's the other thing," he rounded on Emily once again, "how are you going to stay healthy out there if you can't cook a decent meal?"

"Would you give me a break?" Her anger easily rose to match her father's. "We both know this isn't about food or – or money or whatever other reason you've been making up for the past few months."

"Well then please, enLightman me," Cal chided.

"You're scared of me leaving you. That's what this is about." Her blatant honesty shook Cal and he swayed a little where he stood, as if the words were spoken with a physical force enough to knock him over. "You can't keep me in a cage forever, Dad. You can't control every relationship you have or the people in it! Carry on like this and everyone is going to leave you at some point." Cal was left speechless as Emily stormed out of the kitchen.

Gillian shifted her weight awkwardly as she watched Cal. He sat down at the table and took a swig from his glass.

"Join me," he waved his drink at her, making the ice clink. A sound that almost echoed in the awkward silence.

"I'm okay, thanks." Still she didn't move.

Cal got up and rummaged through one of the draws behind him. He eventually pulled out some papers and tossed them on the table in front of Gillian. She moved closer to get a better look as Cal sat back down.

"Brochures," she said thoughtfully as she leafed through the papers.

"And application forms," Cal added, "of some of those work abroad programs they have in Europe.

Gillian's face clouded with confusion.

"Of course I'm going to let her go. I couldn't make it too easy now could I?" He took another sip of his drink.

"I think it's safe to say you've accomplished that."

"She'll have much more appreciation for it now that she believes it was almost taken from her," Cal explained.

"You're unbelievable."

"I have my moments." He eyed her curiously over his glass as he drank and Gillian noticed a mischievous flicker in his eyes. "So… your appointment…" Cal noticed the blood immediately rush to her cheeks and smiled. "Everything, you know, go okay?" He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

"Everything went fine, not that it's any of your business." She tried to remain dignified but suddenly felt hot.

"So you're all… shiny and new then?" Gillian felt a chill down her spine as his eyes lingered over her crotch area and for lack of a better idea to get him to stop staring, sat down.

"That drink is starting to sound pretty good right about now."

Cal let out a light chuckle but Gillian noted just a hint of sadness in it. He emptied his glass and his eyes remained glued to it as he lowered it slowly to the table. She waited.

"What Em said," he started, his voice low and melancholy; his unmoving gaze melting the ice in his glass, "about everyone leaving me eventually – you think she's right?" Cal looked at her then, he wanted to see if her spoken answer was the same as what he saw on her face. Her expression softened visibly. He seemed so vulnerable in that moment. Gillian knew how rare that was and savored it for all it was worth and then

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

Her unashamed honesty caught him off guard. He searched her face and found the purest sincerity. Yes, she was still there. And he was a lucky bastard for it.

I love you, Gill.

Cal saw her response dancing in her eyes and he knew without a doubt that if he had actually said it out loud, she would have too.

* * *

_Don't stop now... it gets better!_


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Cal was met by a harried looking Gillian as he sauntered into the building.

"Is this your version of coming in early?" She fell in step with him as he made his way to his office.

"Contrary to popular belief, I don't roll out of bed looking this good," he gave her one of his winning smiles and playfully nudged her with his elbow.

"I'm sure. It's just that I have a day from hell ahead of me – two evaluations and an interview and that's just this morning."

"Em decided to go back to Chicago with Zoe this morning and I had to drop her off at the airport," Cal said as they entered his office. His tone was light but Gillian sensed his disapproval.

Emily was about to leave for Holland in a few weeks and she knew that Cal would have wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before that day came. In the month since he had given Emily his blessing to take time off for traveling, he had planned an excruciating amount of father-daughter activities that Emily dutifully went through with. She had confided in Gillian, however, that she found them forced and awkward but did it for Cal's sake because she knew it would be hard for him to have her leave.

"Are you okay?" Gillian eyed Cal carefully as he sat down at his desk and started up his laptop.

"I will be if I don't have to hear that question from you again."

"Okay, well I have fifteen minutes if you want to go through the slides-"

"What slides?"

Gillian's face fell. "The Broder-Kemmel presentation we have to do this afternoon," she said, the urgency in her voice rising.

"The Bro-who what-now?"

"Cal-"

"You know," he started as he leaned back in his chair and gave her the once over, "I would tell you to relax but this highly-strung-Foster thing you've got going on is kinda sexy."

"I really wish I had time to play with you but-"

"You want to play with me?"

"Not today. Today I'm crazy busy and-"

"There you are," he said and turned his laptop so that Gillian could see the slides. "Presentation done." She leaned in to get a closer look and Cal took the liberty of getting his closer look as her shirt fell to reveal her full breasts nestled comfortably in a black lace bra.

"Did you include my slides I mailed you last night?" She caught him staring at her with an unmistakable hunger and immediately straightened as she self-consciously fixed her shirt. A naughty grin crept on to his face as he returned his attention to the part of her body that resided above her neck.

"I included the slides that you – you know, I do this kind of thing all the time. I really don't need a babysitter."

"I know, but this is an important contract for us and you've had a rough couple of days. I just wanted-"

"Thank you for your concern," he cut her off, "but my title as Genius was earned not bought. I can multitask with the best of them."

"And who, may I ask, gave you that title?"

"I did. Now move along," he waved her away with his hand and pulled his laptop back towards him, "I have work to do."

"Okay," Gillian conceded and started to leave. "So I'll be back around one-thirty. I thought we could drive up together."

"Drive where?" Gillian glowered at him from the door. "Oh right, the presentation. Got it. Off you go."

"You can reach me on my cell if you need me."

"You're still here?"

She started out the door. "Oh!" And reappeared a second later. Cal rolled his eyes and dropped his head in his hands in a most dramatic fashion.

"But it'll be on silent during the evals and interview," she continued. "So just leave a message on my voicemail and I'll call back as soon as I can." He disappeared into his study while Gillian was still talking. "Cal?" She waited. He didn't make a sound. "Cal?"

A disembodied hand appeared round the door to his study waving a piece of paper. Gillian squinted to read the black scrawl. _I can't hear you _it said. She shook her head and left.

* * *

"Can I help you?"

Cal was on his way to the lab when he caught sight of the painfully handsome Christian Rourke gliding down the hall on his way to Gillian's office. Christian turned at the sound of Cal's voice, which sounded more like he was being reprimanded than asked a question. Hands in pockets and shoulders back, he studied Cal as he approached.

"For starters, you can let up on the leash you have on Gillian."

"From what I understand," Cal shared his personal space the way only he could. "-you've got no business here."

"Then your understanding is wrong." Christian made no sign that he found Cal in the least bit intimidating. "If you'll excuse me." He left him with a curt nod and continued on his way. Cal took a few seconds to blast poison arrows into his back before running to catch up with him.

"She's not here!" he called to the sickeningly broad back, which duly stopped.

"I called her office number ten minutes ago. She answered." Cal hated how arrogant and confident and just damn beautiful he was and he hated it more when, upon following Christian into Gillian's office, he found her seated at her desk.

A few steps behind him, Cal noticed her face light up with a smile, a real one, as he entered. And then saw it quickly dissolve and be replaced by fear when she saw Cal close behind. In a matter of a second though, all this was covered by another, less real smile as Gillian rounded her desk to greet him.

"Gillian." Christian bent to plant a kiss on her cheek, which Cal noticed, she willfully accepted with a slight tilt of her head. He watched Christian's hand lightly snake onto her waist and gave an inward victory air punch when he saw her subtly pull out of his reach.

"How are you?"

"Today I'm a bit all over the place but in general, I'm good. How have you been?"

"Rich, I'm sure," Cal broke in. "Meanwhile," he moved to stand between her and Prince Charming, "why do I not know you're here?"

"You should be studying your notes for later. I didn't want to disturb you."

"That's actually why I came around," Christian moved to stand between her and Cal. Gillian shook her head and smiled at the discreet battle for attention unfolding in front of her.

"I wanted to offer you a ride up to the center."

"Shouldn't you be off lawyering something?" Cal asked.

"I'm on the board so these things are compulsory for me to attend."

"Okay, Alice, I think I've just slipped through the rabbit hole." Cal looked at Gillian confused. "A little help?"

"Christian is-"

"I'm vice-chair on the board you'll be presenting to later," he interrupted. He could not let the chance to show up Cal Lightman escape him.

"I thought it's a pharmaceutical company." Again, Cal spoke to Gillian, not wanting to engage the dashing darling of lawyerland.

"My great uncle was Gustav Kemmel," Christian once again left Gillian about to respond but struck silent. "I ended up inheriting his shares as they got handed down in the family."

Cal nodded thoughtfully, his eyes still fixed on Gillian. She felt his gaze burning through her and dreaded the backlash that was undoubtedly coming her way.

"Right," Cal said finally, addressing Christian for the first time. "Gillian will not be driving with you because we will not be doing the presentation."

"Cal, wait-"

"Please leave." His tone was stern and measured as he glared at Christian.

"You're making a big mistake."

"Leave." Cal repeated himself.

Christian started backing out of the office and then "Am I cancelling?" he asked Gillian.

She looked to Cal and then him, "No, we'll be there."

"No we won't."

"Cal!" She managed to shut him up. "I'll see you later," she used her words to push Christian from her office. Once she was sure that he was gone she rounded on Cal.

"What are you trying to do?"

"Sneaking around with him behind my back? I didn't expect that from you, Gill." He paced the length of her office.

"He approached me. I was not sneaking."

"Then why was I made to look like an idiot just now?"

"I didn't tell you I got the contact through Christian because I knew you'd act like this. But if they sign us, Cal, it would make up fifty percent of our annual targeted income!"

"If they sign us, Gillian," he stopped pacing long enough to drive his point home, "that creature will be a part of our lives for as long as we are bound to that contract!"

"So what if he is?" Gillian raised her voice to match Cal's. She had worked too hard on setting this up to have him pull out because of his ego. "This isn't about Christian, it's about us!"

Her last words punched Cal in the stomach and once Gillian realized what she had said, "The company. I meant it's about our company."

"So you're fine with having him lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce at any given time," Cal carried on.

"We'll have the freedom to do the cases we really want to do," she countered.

"He will not be happy with just being friends, Gill."

"I don't care!" The last bit of restraint left her. "Cal, when will you get it? I told you I'd wait. So – I'm waiting. I don't care about Christian or any other guy. I'm just –" She exhaled heavily and her shoulders slumped in a gesture of defeat. "I'm tired of doing this little dance with you. It's always the same reasons, always the same ending. I'm beginning to wonder if we're ever going to end up some place different."

He stood in front of her - hands dug deep into his pockets, eyes averted carefully to the floor.

"We should go or we'll be late." His words were empty and rung in his ears long after he spoke them.

"Of course." Her response referred more to Cal's classic avoidance than their being punctual and he sensed it. But although he felt bad about side-stepping the elephant in the room, Cal was relieved to leave the conversation as yet another close call.

* * *

_Almost there..._


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: And here we are - the home stretch. I want to give a huge thanks to all readers and reviewers – you are the fuel that kept this engine going. Your compliments, criticisms and CAPS LOCK ENTHUSIASM made this, my first fanfic, so much fun. It really has been one helluva ride and I hope that you've enjoyed it as much as I have. And should my path cross yours in future, I hope that you will join me again. The ride is so much better with you._

_

* * *

_

Chapter 14

"Are you hiding from me?" Although her voice was soft, Cal startled.

He looked up to find Gillian standing in the door to his study. It was late and they were the only two left at the office.

"Not hiding."

"I've barely seen you since we got back." She went to sit on the steps, knees drawn up.

"Just thinking." Cal turned in his chair to face her now. His features were weighed down.

"I know it must be hard for you – Emily's leaving in two weeks and she decided to spend most of it with Zoe."

"We'll have a couple of days before she takes off. Anyway, I suppose it's good she gets some time with her mum."

"You should take me to dinner."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it'll make you feel better. I'll let you pay and everything." Gillian threw him a cheeky grin which near stopped his heart.

"Your generosity kills me. But I think I'm just going to head on home. Have an early night, you know."

She didn't do very well to hide her disappointment but she didn't particularly care either. This was a different day. Under normal circumstances she would've left him then. But the waiting game was getting old. She wanted him to act but after having seen him flake out of all the opportunities he's had so far, Gillian was beginning to wonder if he ever would. Suddenly the thought of having one more night without him was too much for her to bear. She had given him space; given him time but now she was done waiting. Gillian made her decision.

"Cal," he looked up at her, "I know why you've been torturing yourself these past few months." His face gave her nothing as he watched her. "You don't think you're good enough for me," Gillian spoke softly, her tone contained. "So you've been, I don't know, trying to be a better person or-" She didn't want to scare him off by overwhelming him with too much emotion at once. She understood that this was a delicate situation and treated it as such. He didn't make to interject and she continued.

"But that's not your decision to make, it's mine. And I want you to give me a chance to do that." He lowered his gaze to the floor. It was the only way he could keep the emotional tumult occurring within from her. And still, he said nothing.

"I don't know what it is you're waiting for. I promised you I won't push and I won't but Cal –" she stepped up to him and lifted his chin with a finger so that he was once again, looking at her.

Her touch was gentle but the second it happened, Cal felt a bolt of electricity surge through every cell in his body. He closed his eyes and drowned in her smell and when next he opened them, that was it.

All right there.

Cal swallowed hard as he got lost in her eyes for the umpteenth time since they'd met. But this time there was something different. He knew as soon as it happened that it was afforded him deliberately. Gillian was always guarded and careful and if he read anything in that instant it was because she wanted him to.

She was his.

"If you ask me, I'll say yes," she said, no longer talking about just dinner. "I would've said yes two years ago." She left him then, with nothing more than a chaste kiss to his cheek.

This was the moment, Cal thought, where he would have to man up or move on. He watched as the last visage of the woman he loved disappeared from his sight.

* * *

Gillian walked down the hallway. It was a conscious motion. Every step a decision that took her further and further from Cal. She knew that there was no other way for her to be sure that he was sure about the two of them. It had to come from him. And if she was lucky, he would come around. If not, she had been doing fine with the way things were and there was no reason why she couldn't continue being fine. But oh god she hoped -

"Gill!" The hoarseness in his voice made her freeze. No, it was the desperation in his voice that did it. She turned to see a defeated looking Cal staring back at her. Not defeated, she corrected herself, afraid. Her heart flipped. She wanted to go to him but didn't. She wanted to tell him she knew everything and that he didn't have to say it if he didn't want to because what they had was unspoken and she believed it could work and that they could be happy…

But didn't.

Cal kept her gaze, begging her to read him. He didn't know if he could find the words. And if he found the words, he wasn't sure if he could speak them. She stared at him, through him and he knew she wouldn't let him get away with it. She deserved more. He had to tell her. And not with his face as he had told her so many times before - I respect you. I cherish your friendship. I need you. Cal was filled with dread. Terror. Excitement?

No, it was love.

Another flash decision. But this time Cal had more faith. This time he knew it was the right one. His heart rate even, his voice calm, he spoke:

"I'm asking."

Two simple words. The longest sentence Cal Lightman had ever had to speak. He watched her intently, looking for a flicker of anything. He couldn't find it. Gillian took a few steps toward him, drinking in every inch of Cal's face. His expression was tender, boyish even. And she loved him then. More than she had ever dared love anyone. "I'm asking," he repeated. Softer now. Because that was all that was needed. He had mirrored her movement and stepped into her; his hands circled her waist and rested there with such ease it was as if their sole purpose was just that – to hold her.

"Then I'm saying yes," a smile crept onto Gillian's face as she let his embrace envelope her. Cal exhaled slowly as he finally succumbed to the heart that had led him to that most perfect of moments.

He broke from the hug and his face stopped a hair's breadth from hers. The next move was Gillian's. She lifted her chin so that her lips met his in the sweetest way. Cal's response was immediate and his entire body responded to her as her tongue made its way into his mouth. She was warm and sweet and he felt like he would never be able to get enough. And so they stood, holding on to each other as if there lurked a force waiting to rip them apart at any moment; kissing each other as if it were the last kiss they were ever going to be granted. Cal broke for air and rested his forehead against hers. Their eyes locked and after what seemed an eternity

"I love you, Gill," he breathed the words on to her still moist lips. This time it was out loud. He knew because every word reverberated through him as if it came from his very bones.

Gillian smiled and Cal saw her response before he heard it.

"I love you, too," she said. As he knew she would.

* * *

_THE BEGINNING_


End file.
